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Archive for May, 2011

Going for what’s really on your shopping list

Being clear with your intention allows you to manifest your dreams.

I can think of many examples from my own life, but one that comes to mind most readily to illustrate this is the story of someone with whom I worked years ago, whom I’ll call Mary. Mary was in a relationship that stood out by its lack of definition – she wasn’t sure whether to call him a boyfriend, a friend-with-benefits, or what, since their relationship seemed to forever dance in and out of those boundaries. In addition to this, he had debt, he had a criminal record, and he lived in the opposite side of the country. Mary wasn’t even sure how he felt about her – they didn’t have clear communication. None of these were what Mary wanted in a relationship.

Working with Mary, I could see that she was still very attached to him, so it took her quite a while to become centered enough to recognize what her dream for a partner was, and to honestly compare it to her current situation.

“If you went to a supermarket,” I told her, “and filled up your cart with the items you wanted, would you be putting in your cart this man’s traits?”

She laughed and replied that if she picked out boyfriends the way she shopped for groceries, her current partner wouldn’t even be on the shelves.

When she really saw this and was able to release him, she healed and moved on to find someone who matched her heart’s true desires.

Without the shopping list up front we might realize that what we picked by default instead of consciously is short of our satisfaction. Knowing the things that really matter, on the other hand (in the case of a partner, character, integrity and ethics would be at the top of Mary’s list) helps you reduce time wasted and emotional pain if you get attached to something or someone who you already knew didn’t work for you. This is important not just in relationships – in everything else in life. Knowing what you desire, being honest with yourself, being clear and definite, is equivalent to drawing up a shopping list instead of wandering around aimlessly at the supermarket and then feeling unfulfilled with what’s in the cart

It has been my experience, and my clients’, that once you know what’s on your shopping list, manifesting the things you desire becomes easy and graceful.

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