Release Judgment to Get More Out of Experiences.

In one of my group meditations someone once told me that she felt like she was new to the practice and hence had a harder time sensing where she was holding energy. After we were no longer in a meditative state, she asked me a question and when I was giving her feedback, I inquired, “Can you feel where you’re holding energy—here and here?”

“Well,” she replied, “I can feel it here. And it’s not that I don’t believe you, but I can’t feel it in the other spot.”

“Close your eyes and focus within.”

She did, and then she said, “Oh, I can feel it now.”

I thanked her for showing everybody that sometimes you may not be able to feel something with your eyes open, but in a deeper state of focus it’s a little bit easier. “It takes practice to increase your awareness and sensitivity,” I added.

Later I learned that she had concluded that she wasn’t “advanced enough” or “evolved enough” for my class. She was comparing herself against other people’s experiences or what they had been able to do, and judging herself for her supposed lack of perception… with all of the insecurity that went with that self-judgment.

To illustrate how this wasn’t about how “experienced” or “advanced” this woman was, in the same group there was someone else who’s extremely gifted, empathetic, and really able to feel things—yet later I learned she would often experience frustration because there’s a part of her that really wants to see the energy rather than just feel it. She was caught in the judgment that seeing energy was better than feeling energy.

The fact of the matter is that wherever we are, and whatever our experience is at any given moment, it is perfect, and anytime we get stuck in comparing ourselves with others, we step out of the magic of the moment. Turning off our judgment (including judging ourselves for our self-judgment) and aligning with out heart, we can then treat everything just as information. That way, our self-doubt and tendency to compare show us where the inner opportunities exist for expansion and personal growth. And with that mindset it’s easier to have a fuller, more appreciative experience and to realize that we’re experiencing not only what is perfect but also what is ideal for us.

Photo credit:   suadoni

Following Rules Versus Following What Your Whole Self Desires

I’ve found that in order for me to be successful at anything, I must be very conscious. Being conscious means not following rules-rules that I’ve set for myself or expectations that I’ve let others impose on me. Rules are artificial, a product of our minds trying to tell the rest of ourselves what we should be doing when our bodies, our souls or our emotions would rather be doing something else.

I don’t mean to suggest that all rules should be avoided, or that they should be avoided all the time-just to say that they’re not the be-all and end-all and in fact they can contradict each other, as in when a diet book says “eat no fruit at all” and another one touts the value of juicing. Even if some of the information is good, the rigidity of making up a rule (something is good and something else is bad) makes it a form of judgment and judgment tends to get in the way of love.

Say, for instance, that the issue is resistance. To anything-exercise, the right foods, taking better care of yourself, whatever you wish. Until we work through those parts of us that aren’t in alignment, it’s pointless to push ourselves. Resistance will come up some other way as we try to shoehorn ourselves into the rules our minds want to impose on us. If instead we ask our bodies and emotions, “Would you like to exercise?” – and get a “No,” and follow that, we’re closer to letting go of self-judgment and being loving to ourselves.

I find that when everything falls into alignment not from my mind but from my heart, it’s easier to choose what serves me. Perhaps I don’t feel like exercising, but I wouldn’t mind dancing. Maybe dancing is then more likely to inspire better overall choices. The point is, the best outcomes will emerge over time as a natural by-product of being entirely conscious in each and every choice, but only if I come from a place of love. When our mind dictates over our whole selves, some of the magic in our lives is lost.

When we’re fully heart-centered in our experience, each choice feels right and feels whole.

Photo credit:  mikebaird